HIDDEN IN THE WOODS, available now on DVD from Artsploitation Films
With Halloween going on, scary movies are all over the place. I should put scary in quotes, because, many horror films are violent or eerie but they’re not exactly “scary”. They’re too safe. Real scary, is the stuff that’s too disturbing to be explained away. Like that Ariel Castro asshole. He was scary because he was so far out there, it was impossible to make sense of. Well, if they ever made a biopic of that piece of filth, it might look a little like “Hidden in the Woods”, available now from Artsploitation Films. This Chilean film is supposedly based on a true story and it’s so messed up, there’s no doubt in my mind that it is. Want something terrifying for the 31st? Leave Freddy in slumberland and experience the kind of evil that can only be found in a real life psychopath. Read more
“, coming to Blu-Ray on 9/10 from Grindhouse Releasing. With a story so pretentious it’s infantile, the film is chock full o’ hilariously bad acting and more body hair than the Kardashian family has combined. It’s the very definition of “so bad it’s good”… and is easily the most enjoyable film I’ve reviewed all year. I have no idea what the hell I just watched, but I do know that it was awesome.
“. As each name shows up on the screen, it dissipates into lines that recall the opening of “
“. Even the score sounds suspiciously reminiscent of Bernard Herrmann’s famous theme, with faced-paced violins pulsing away at your ears. Unfortunately, after Al, everybody else is just a pretender to the throne and while imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, it usually just makes the end result look 2nd rate. Not so in this case. Neutzsky-Wulff’s movie comes off as 3rd or 4th rate at best and manages to enter that rare pantheon of films known as “So bad, they’re good.” I’d say I managed to scratch my head maybe three times before my mind was completely blown. 
“, the biopic of a dashing, young Howard Hughes as he revolutionizes air travel and conquers Hollywood. Those familiar with the film may recall a scene where a young (underaged) starlet is interviewed and seduced by Hughes only to later freak out over his infidelities. That actress was Faith Domergue, who starred in films like Hughes’ “
“, “
” and the MST3K favorite “
“. From the mid-50′s into the 60′s, she worked mostly in TV, but briefly returned to films before ending her career with the schlock horror “
“, available 8/13 on Blu-Ray and DVD from Severin Films. While this “last hurrah” might be what the film is best known for, the truth is: if you’re looking to turn your living room into a drive-in theater for the night, this is the disc to do it with. 
“), but fighters and prostitutes are kindred spirits. Both are arguably abusing their bodies for financial gain and as such have a depressingly short shelf life. I guess you could make a similar comparison between fighting movies and porn. Sometimes story is just something to connect the “action” scenes. This is the case with “
“, arriving 8/6 on Blu-Ray and DVD from Well Go USA. Director/Star Yue Song’s tale of urban survival is fight scene after fight scene, strung together with a clumsy plot and the deep symbolism of rebirth as an eagle. Yes, an eagle. 
“, “
“… “
“. These are films that were regarded as colossal flops, but in reality turned out to be… well, not so bad. Video helped these misfits of cinema find their loving audience and even became bona fide classics (in “
“), sometimes it’s not… like in the case of “
“, finally coming to Blu-Ray on 8/6 after years of delay from Sony Pictures Home Entertainment. Many people have ragged on the film over the years, including Gary Larson who mocked it in a “Far Side” panel, without ever having ACTUALLY seen the movie. Well, now’s your chance to give the film a fair shake… and it’s never looked better. 
“, “
” and “
” are just a few examples of watchable stinkers the studio has put out over the years. The key word here is “watchable”. I’m not expecting John Cena playing “
“, but I will get mindless fun albeit with a fair share of eye rolls and guffaws. But imagine my surprise to see that WWE’s latest, “
“, available on Blu-Ray and DVD July 9th from Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, reunited “
” (original) director Niels Arden Olpev and his leading lady Noomi Rapace. It looks like this picture comes from excellent stock… and with nary a trace of HGH to be found in the cast. Could it be? Could WWE finally be putting out quality films? 
