JASON X available on DVD from New Line

*** Originally published on Beyond the Marquee, 07/13/12 ***

Happy Friday the 13th, Doc!  After watching that zombie/stripper film, I found myself in the mood for more of the risque.  Well, as luck would have it,  Jason X isn’t one of those “adult” parodies I enjoy so much… but it fits with the day, so what the hell.  Widely regarded as the worst (and certainly the lowest grossing) in the series, the tenth “stab” at a Friday the 13th flick is so painfully putrid that even the Downtown Cinema’s audience couldn’t resist throwing their rum ‘n cokes at the screen (a.k.a. my TV set – more on that later).  But is it really that bad?  Aren’t these films kind of an easy target because there are so many unnecessary sequels?  Am I just kicking a dead horse by reviewing a decade-old stinker?

You bet I am!! Read more

ZOMBIES VS. STRIPPERS available now from Full Moon

*** Originally published on Beyond the Marquee, 07/10/12 ***

Shakespeare once wrote, “What’s in a name?  That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet;”  Well, there’s a lot in a name, or more specifically a title.  Snakes on a Plane famously became a cult phenomenon before it was even released thanks to its no-nonsense (or all-nonsense) title.  Don’t forget Hot Tub Time Machine which enticed viewers with the promise of a time travelling jacuzzi… and bubbled up a profit, grossing over $50 million domestically.  Or what about 2009′s The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard?  Bad title + Jeremy Piven = no business. So when old Billy Shakes asks what’s in a name, the answer is simple: ticket sales.  This Tuesday, Charles Band and Full Moon Horror release a DVD with quite possibly the best title of 2012: Zombies Vs. Strippers.

At least you know what you’re gonna get. Read more

FREAK DANCE available now on DVD from Image Entertainment

*** Originally published on Beyond the Marquee, 07/06/12 ***

You know Doc, it’s easy to shred a bad movie… especially online.  Plenty of cyber critics tear into pictures they deem lousy with the ferocity of a lynch mob and it’s really unfair.  Movies are difficult to make and they (typically) require the passions of a collective group willing to dedicate weeks, months and even years of their lives.  The Departed is currently the king of the hill on my favorite movies list and I’m sure I’m not alone in my choice.  My least favorite is Black Knight, a film I find so awful, I deliberately watch bad movies in search of something worse.  But as much as I despise it, I can guarantee Black Knight is somebody’s favorite flick.  So while I’ll vocalize my disdain for such drivel, I won’t go overboard in pissing all over someone’s favorite movie.  Now, take Freak Dance, the “new” feature film from Upright Citizens Brigade.  It’s coming to DVD on 7/10 from Image Entertainment and while it doesn’t quite dethrone the Knight, it’s not worth a minute of your time. Read more

THE GRUESOME DEATH OF TOMMY PISTOL available now from Breaking Glass

*** Originally published on Ellenwood EP, 07/01/12 ***

Every now and then I’ll stumble on a movie that’s so unique, it’s like breath of fresh air from the stifling confines of mainstream cinema. It’s usually something bold, unapologetic and utterly fearless; a film that doesn’t need a big name or CG spaceships to keep my attention. One such recent discovery is The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol, a hilarious 3 vignette “meditation” on fame and the price people are willing to pay for stardom. The film won the award for Best Dark Comedy (2011) at the Polygrind Film Festival and has now been unleashed to the world courtesy of Breaking Glass Pictures. Read more